Non Alcoholic Vodka!

Now you can enjoy the great odourless and tasteless nectar of vodka without the pesky inconvenience of waking up in a jail cell looking at fifteen to life for the brutal rape and fire murder of taxi driver.

Say goodbye to the days of vomiting in stranger’s mouths and hello to spending $27.50 for a bottle of water. But don’t drink too much because nobody likes a Non-Alcoholic (unless they’re going to N.A.A meetings and cuddling strangers).

Difficult Crossword

DOWN
1 This could be used as a password
2 Does not rhyme with Orange
3 Contains traces of carbon
6 See 5 across

ACROSS
2 Found on the planet Earth
4 Relatively easy to spell
5 See 6 down
7 People do this
8 There is more than one of these
9 Not a ten letter word

Does this car make my penis look big?

Finally, a ride that has the luxury of a studio apartment with the convenience of a garbage truck.

If you do decide to drive around town in an urban assault vehicle be sure to attach a battering ram to the front of it (for safety and protection). The last thing you want is a child's helmet to put a nasty scratch the bonnet.

Parting note

If the saying that goes along the lines of ‘the bigger the car the smaller the dick’ is accurate, then the guy who owns this rolling eyesore has a six inch hole in his belly.

Guess who had a grenade for lunch!

This guy reminds me of a broach my grandmother used to wear.

Bluetooth for a tooth

Oh look everybody... it’s Rodney Robot Ears from the planet Fuckbum.

This guy is far too busy to be pressing the answer key every time his phone rings so he’s trained a small android to live on the side of his head and do it for him.

The next person I see wearing one of these things better be either deaf or taking an order for a big mac and large fries otherwise there’ll be tears.

Ever seen the movie ‘Grudge’ in wide screen?

Ta da...

If Satan had five Children, this would be the one that ate the other four!

The thing I like the most about this guy is that he would have actually looked at this picture and thought ‘Yeah... that’s a keeper’ (not like the other photo’s that make me look like a fat loser).

Finally some hard proof that hating Jesus doesn’t mean you can’t love pies.

10 Interesting fact about this guy;

1 He does his own make up.
2 Those boobs are 100% natural (which is why he keeps them locked up).
3 His mother holds the world record for being the most embarrassed person that ever lived.
4 His belly button can hold 2 litres of Fanta.
5 Every pair of Speedos he’s ever owned have split on the sides.
6 Marijuana gives him the munchies
7 When it comes to high jump, he’s below average.
8 After this photo was taken he had to lie down for an hour.
9 He has special glands in his head that enable his ears to fart.
10 His favorite drink is peanut butter.

Family of the year.

It's nice to see that kids these days still make time to hang out with their grandfather.